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| resaliens.com |
If one is missing a few physical senses (e.g. blindness or deafness), outside events might not be experienced in its entirety but they can still be appreciated to a certain extent. However, in cases when someone is "not in his/her right mind," such as in comatose, heavily intoxicated or catatonic states, objective reality cannot be fully comprehended, if at all.
Most of the time, when confronted with an experience, one cannot help but instantly form an opinion. Whether the experience is that of a beautiful cloudless day, the antics of a politician running for re-election, the latest reviews of a cool new gadget or the loud barking of the neighbor's dog, chances are we have something to say about it, at the very least in our own minds.
These opinions are the products of conclusions we draw from our experiences combined with whatever stored information that we may not have experienced but have read or heard about and accept as believable. Instant conclusions are one way to make life easier since we don't burn the mind out by overanalyzing everything, and they can also make life more survivable.
For instance, one doesn't need to be actually run over by a 10-wheeler truck to conclude that it's dangerous, and this is (usually) enough to stop one from crossing the road when a truck is speeding by. On the other hand, calcified opinions can also hinder us, like when a manager stubbornly insists on doing a project "the good old-fashioned and proven way" in spite of evidence by his staff that another way is better.
And then there are situations that defy an easy answer. Why did it have to be him who got into an accident? Why didn't she leave him before it was too late? Why are the corrupt still enjoying life while the honest ones are full of misfortune? Because there are no easy answers, we naturally tend to feel frustrated in these situations. Everyone reacts differently. Some people may lash out, while others bury their frustrations into the deepest recesses of their subconscious, a landmine ready to explode at the slightest misstep.
To say that everything has its place would be deemed simplistic by most. We want everything to fit into the nice little box of reality that we've built for ourselves, and this box represents everything that we understand about the world around us. More often than not, in order to make sense of the things we don't understand we tend to judge others in the process. Judgement, in this case, is measuring others according to how they fit into our little box. Anything that doesn't measure up is to be ignored, ridiculed or destroyed.
Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that we tend to fear what we don't understand. When we don't understand something, then we cannot manage it or bring it under control. And so we often judge, so that in our judgement we know how to react (to ignore, to ridicule or to destroy).
On the other hand, it's probably better to simply do everything up to the limit of one's understanding and control then entrust anything beyond that to a higher power. This smacks of predestination, a term that rationalists would hate. However, I see it as being humble enough to accept one's limitations without compromising one's power to act.
To clarify, when one encounters something that one doesn't understand, one of the first things one should do is to try to understand it. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we don't. It's when we don't succeed that we can only entrust it to a higher power instead of trying to force ourselves to control a situation we know nothing about.
The fact is that though one may have the ability to understand some things more than others, no one person can understand everything. So everyone is going to reach that limit sometime, somehow. It's a very delicate balancing act and knowing when one has reached one's limits can be difficult, especially when one has a lot of preconceived notions.
It took a fantasy novel to make me look at it from a different perspective. In The Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring, Frodo was talking to Gandalf about Gollum. Frodo said that Gollum was a wretched creature who deserved to die. To this Gandalf replied, "Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends."
Ironically enough, it was because Gollum lived that the whole of Middle Earth was saved from further darkness. It started when Bilbo spared Gollum's life (in The Hobbit), and at the very end, when Frodo's determination failed him and he put on the One Ring, it was Gollum who inadvertently saved him when he managed to bite off Frodo's finger and regain the ring. This off-balanced Gollum who then fell into the fiery depths of Mount Doom, taking the ring with him. So Gollum did die, though not in the manner decreed by mortals, because his death had to first serve a higher purpose.
Of course, this is just a novel where all dramas can be made to fit into each other, but it does illustrate how interconnected life really is. I'm sure we've all heard stories about people who narrowly avoided getting into an accident because they got delayed by someone holding up the line or because of a busted alarm clock. You can probably list down other blessings in disguise in your own life if you looked back hard enough.
So there really is a bigger picture, it's just that we may not see it nor comprehend it. But going down to the individual level, Mother Teresa did say that if you're busy judging others, then you have no time to love them. Besides, if one believes the adage that one simply gets back what one puts out, then it would do one well not to be so quick on the draw as far as judging others is concerned. Just like anything that involves character building, it's all easier said than done. But it has to be done anyway.
We may not understand everything that happens in our life, but sometimes letting go and having a little faith may just be the right move to make.
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